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Journal

On conversation

The pause before someone answers is part of the conversation. These pieces stay with that pause.

A still photograph for “The third culture: how intercultural couples build a language of their own”.

23 October 2026

The third culture: how intercultural couples build a language of their own

When you and your partner grew up in different countries, some of the friction in your relationship doesn't come from conflict — it comes from culture. Research shows that the couples who navigate this best share one habit: they stay curious.

A still photograph for “When good news needs a listener”.

22 October 2026

When good news needs a listener

Telling someone your good news feels good. How they answer turns out to matter just as much. A 2004 set of studies looked at what happens when we share the things that go right.

A still photograph for “They liked you more than you think”.

18 October 2026

They liked you more than you think

After a conversation, most of us assume the other person was less impressed than they actually were. A 2018 study named this gap — and it has real implications for anyone speaking a second language.

A still photograph for “When a question does the work”.

18 October 2026

When a question does the work

Small talk keeps the room polite. A better question lets someone arrive. The science of closeness starts with what you ask, and how patiently you wait.

A still photograph for “A night in without screens: a conversation game for two”.

15 October 2026

A night in without screens: a conversation game for two

Phones in another room, a box of questions and someone you like. That's the whole evening.

A still photograph for “How to run a language exchange that doesn't fizzle out”.

15 October 2026

How to run a language exchange that doesn't fizzle out

Language exchanges usually fizzle because nobody knows what to ask. A shared question and a timer go a long way.

A still photograph for “Talking with your partner's family in another language: questions that help”.

15 October 2026

Talking with your partner's family in another language: questions that help

You love the people, but the language still sits between you. A few questions that help without turning lunch into a lesson.

A still photograph for “The question that turned dinner into a conversation”.

1 October 2026

The question that turned dinner into a conversation

The plates were down and the talk was all logistics. Then someone asked something you couldn't answer with a nod.